TSBT limerick competition

Make a guess and you could win prizes!
Mr Thinhead

#1 TSBT limerick competition

Post by Mr Thinhead »

********

LIMERICK COMPETITION
Submit a limerick beginning with:

There was an old cruncher from TSBT

OR

A lass who loved TSBT crunching

OR

A young man of TSBT fame

The best one, as judged by yours truly using quite random and unpredictable criteria, will win the prize.

Best, by the way = funny, funnier the better, and if you make me laugh out loud you will have considerably improved your chances of winning. So, over to you...

********

AMAZING PRIZE
An Amazon voucher for £20 (or equivalent in US $)

RULES
Up to three limericks per entrant.

All entrants must be actively crunching TSBT members.

Entries close at midnight on Friday 31 July.
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Megacruncher
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#2

Post by Megacruncher »

Good comp! I'm working on it.
In the meantime here's an old favourite

There was a old queen of Bulgaria,
Whose bush got hairier & hairier,
'Til a young Prince from Peru,
Who was hoping for a screw,
Had to hunt for her c*** with a terrier.


I'll try and maintain this standard with the TSBT specific ones. :)
Willie the Megacruncher
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steve

#3

Post by steve »

Catriona, a pretty young lass
Had a truly magnificent ass.
Not rounded and pink
As you possibly think
It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.
steve

#4

Post by steve »

Some bagpipes were stolen! I kid
You not, folks, for happen it did.
Police, under cover,
Seek a true music lover,
Or maybe a short-sighted squid


Here are 2 more examples ( not mine )
Mr Thinhead

#5

Post by Mr Thinhead »

These examples are fine. Very much in the spirit of good limericks.

To give more scope for your imagination, here are a couple more alternative first lines:

A lass who loved TSBT crunching

OR

A young man of TSBT fame

So you now have three first lines to choose from.

And remember that you can submit up to three limericks if you wish.
PinkPenguin

#6

Post by PinkPenguin »

... so with due deference to William McGonagall here's a first effort:

There was an old cruncher from TSBT
whose passion was plum cake and tea
he would always say
at the end of the day
"munching is the way for me!"

I think I'll work on the "young lass" next though it won't be easy to keep the rating to PG. :D
Nightlord

#7

Post by Nightlord »

OK, here's a few from me:

There was an old cruncher from TSBT
who remembers we were Scotlands' SETI.
then Boinc came along
and so did the throng
so say we all now: hurahh for TSBT!

and in defence of JockMacMad and his blue smoke.....

There was a young man of TSBT Fame
who once nuked his bios, oh what a shame
Advice he did seek
For his dead pile of reek
Only to fry the whole thing in a blue flame!

and finally an input from Mrs N:

A young lass who loved TSBT crunching,
but only because it kept hubby from hunching
about this and that.
He's a silly old tw*t
said young lass who loved TSBT crunching.

....not sure I agree with the last one, but I suppose in the spirit of the competition, I can agree just this once with the statement that she's young(ish)

.....me runs away very fast to hide in the shed. :wink:
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#8

Post by rowpie »

ok my first entry.

I'd like to dedicate this one to Megacruncher.


A young man of TSBT fame
Thought CPU's were the name of the game
But then with GPU power
He got more credits an hour
And managed to keep the leccy bill sane (ISH!) :roll:

/me exits stage left....
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#9

Post by Megacruncher »


I'd like to dedicate this one to Megacruncher.

Wow! I've never had a poem dedicated to me before and I can't remember the last time anyone called me young. I'm truly grateful :lol:

Anyhoo here is an effort I shall surely regret in the morning,

There was an old cruncher from TSBT,
Who had computers, numbering seventy-three,
In despair his poor wife,
Grabbed a ruddy great knife,
And to reduce the cost, cut off his electricity!
Willie the Megacruncher
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Mr Thinhead

#10

Post by Mr Thinhead »

Thinhead, who asked that some lines
Be written as TSBT rhymes
Was dismayed to see
That so few were ready
To submit their poetic designs


Come on folks... only six entries? Surely one of you must be the next poet laureate.
PinkPenguin

#11

Post by PinkPenguin »

In the hope of evading at least some rotten tomatoes I shall submit my second and third masterpieces late, as it were - with luck everyone's asleep...
:hiding:
A young lass who loved TSBT crunching
Was watching the screen while munching
"Yipee!" said she
"It's a Wallaby-3....
I'll boinc that one before luncheon!".


A young man of TSBT fame
Had two hamsters and an ancient mainframe
When asked about his stats,
He would say they were rats,
And the machine was as mad as it claimed.


...er, by the way, does it have to make sense ?
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#12

Post by aardvark »

My first attempt at Stupid 'O' Clock in the morning

"A group of fellows
From TeeEsBeeTee
Got a set of bellows for GPU cooling, you see
Tae suck or blaw they didnae fash ata
The best judge of Temp’ being the Mither-in-law."

Good Night :wink:
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#13

Post by aardvark »

Attempt number two 8)

These same fellows of TeeEsBeeTee fame
Tried more cooling of GPU, the same
This time they tried gas
But not one could pass
Enough wind to create even a flame.

:oops:
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#14

Post by aardvark »

No'' 3 of the trilogy :shock:

“We’re Doomed” said the fellows of TeeEsBeeTee fame
For the cooling of this GPU, yes the same
Is beyond our guile’s
But hing on a whiles
We could try Nitrogen “Eureka” they exclaimed.

:roll:
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#15

Post by FlyingfocRS »

Right here's my feeble attempts

There was a young man of TSBT fame
Whose credits were starting to wane
So he went to Dell
Who put him through hell
But his RAC is now on the gain.

There was a young man of TSBT fame
Crunching was his favourite game
A CPU here
and a GPU there
Till his credits were truly insane
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Storme

#16

Post by Storme »

A young man of TSBT fame
The number one spot was his aim
He crunched Milky Way
So much every day
His teeth fell out - oh what a shame!
Mr Thinhead

#17

Post by Mr Thinhead »

Just reminding everyone that this comp closes at midnight on Friday.

So far there are two or three that I like (naming no names), but a few more to choose will still be welcome.
Mr Thinhead

#18

Post by Mr Thinhead »

OK. I'm still around. I'll review entries with Mrs T tomorrow and let you know who has won soon. :)
Mr Thinhead

#19

Post by Mr Thinhead »

Sorry for the delay folks.

Good entries, although on the whole not quite risqué enough for my tastes, but I can reveal that we have a winner.

Using completely unpredictable judgement criteria I am pleased to announce Storme's contribution as the one that will get the prize.

Storme: I'll PM you about getting the gold, sorry, Amazon voucher, to you asap.

Everyone else: thank you for entering.
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#20

Post by Megacruncher »

Well done Storme! :D
Risque you wanted was it? And there was I trying to keep it clean! :roll:
Willie the Megacruncher
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Storme

#21

Post by Storme »

Unpredictable indeed - I didn't expect to be in with a chance with so many good entries!
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#22

Post by aardvark »

Well done Storme, I thought you might be in with a chance, a very topical lyric.

Mr Thinhead

A great idea for a competition 8) The things people will do to get rid of Amazon vouchers :wink:
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